It’s Time

Written by Prim on 19/11/2021

But it’s gonna be… sunny!

Lambasting unfinished viewpoints is akin to burning the witch. Here’s one for the kindle; it’s going to be sunny side up! Aye, put that in yer flip-flop and squish. On that point how is it some folk only eat the whites and others don’t care for the yolk (ugh!). One yolky goodness to all this, is the upside of a scandals in sandals climate in ol’ Blighty, which allows for not a drop of sweat to be excreted. Not a single ounce leaves the body, meaning less shower time and decreased clothes washing, thus producing a greener odourless carbon footprint.

Rumours are filtering through this gushing abstinence of perspiration can last a full winter. Pending an abrupt couple of balmy days in March where a a sudden onslaught of ye ol’ current bun can lure a festering student’s hibernated sweat gland to erupt in Biblical proportions. So instant is it’s release that the enveloping liquid stench can cascade on a small town destroying several pets and the old and frail in a torrid flood of putrid foulness. However, this rarely happens and sometimes a stinky cull is necessary.

Supermarket workers are most susceptible to bouts of concealed sweat pockets given their requirement for wearing ski apparel in order to last more than 5mins in the iced environment of the cold cuts and kippers aisles, and a quick shimmy up the bakers passage can cause havoc by embarrassing flushes of temperature imbalance.

But in general it’s sunny side up – fool, saving the planet one sweatless step at a time, crikey, I cannae wait.