‘Busy doing Nothing’
‘Being Crossby’

…Sat there in the cold bare house, he contemplated the essence of nothing. It felt good. His hands clasped loosely together resting on his belly. Dirt-dried mitts, caked in decades old wallpaper paste, horse glue he thought. Brr. He noticed how every line was accentuated, lending age beyond reality. He wondered if It was old. He felt It hovering over his shoulder, or at least thought he did. Like the glimpses he caught of It in the shadows of the damp paint-stained walls, as he sat there contemplating nothing. The waiter in the white shirt under the window seal or the swallow in flight in the corner. But right now, he couldn’t care less if It was watching or not, it was break time, he needed a seat, a banana, a cup of splosh and to contemplate nothing, except his wrinkled old hands. Sat there in the camp chair he shifted his gaze to the window, the bits not obscured by his company’s sign, ‘We buy houses in any condition…’ There, in those paste splattered panes the sun hung low and bright. The sky tore chromatic blue over red brick terraced houses, offset in their black and white frames. The street he knew was lined with mature trees, yet directly opposite a young birch propped with stakes and draped in protective chicken wire rose, searching 20ft feet or more. Its young saps drooped, holding onto their greenly auburn leaves turning a deep rich brick red as they reached the summit. It looked like a giant wilting bunch of flowers. A young lady walked past clinging onto a small child bent on splashing in yesterday’s puddles. That unregistered movement broke his spell and it was then he noticed the claw hammer still on the window seal where he’d left it the week before, only curiously, he questioned, not the same window seal. He didn’t care. And without thought he did think if It was behind him, or whether It was indeed in the house or in his mind. He knew we are all duped by society’s foolish idiocies. Besides, weird stuff always happens inside a derelict house around Halloween. No, he didn’t care for being played by society’s follies. We’re always being duped, he thought, scammed, scammed like a pig butcher for love, scammed by the Yes Men, the news men, the Anchor Man and the Mad Men. Buy this, think that. Naff off. Hooped, cajoled and squeezed into neat little control bundles. What is the truth? Last week he found himself listening to classical music on the way home from work and didn’t even realise, even liked it, he only cottoned on when his spell was broken by the sight of a green electric post office van ahead. Green one side, Post office red the other. They lose X million pounds a day he thought, then can be government subsidised with X million to re-invest their fleet, and hey presto, everything’s hunky dory. I tell you what’s not hunky dory, that duff duff duff lift muzak they play in warehouse trampoline parks. What! His mind veered West. Marilyn Monroe wouldn’t’ve been listening to that plastic jive when she was street trampolining where her skirt blows up in that iconic photo, no Sireee. And if they can just willy nilly put an electric fleet on a downhill dustcart outdated and unnecessary venture why not solve the housing crisis by offering a house apparition allowance scheme for ghoul, ghostly poltergeiristic haunts where if houses are infested you get to live there on the cheap. And while they’re at it, introduce more full moons a month to make things look pretty or, and here’s the humdinger, they could just curb these ridiculous notions and just let folk go back to just sitting there, contemplating nothing. And when he was done, he went back to work. It followed him.

With that I suggest we go to World News

true dat

Australia is in talks with the UK and US in what they call AUKUS, to share nuclear propulsion technology, which is nice. Even nicer, is it allows the US further access to Australia’s vast deposits of rare-earth minerals, currently dominated by China. Aye, they can make some nice jewellery items with those.

Japan has a smoke free Bullet Train from Tokyo to Osaka. That’s right folks, they’ve removed the onboard interspersed series of standing only smoking rooms, and will replace them with emergency water supplies. Seems weird they still have the smoking rooms and even weirder they’re not replacing them with booze carts.

headless waiter

I had something eels here about Japan and Koshihikari in the Niigata prefecture, which is up 3% and offices are seeking solutions to identify and adjust techniques, which is apparently cool, but what it is, I don’t know because I can’t read my notes.

swallow

Quantas in the meantime, grrr, are doing something with potential free seats, alas not turning putting booze in them, but selling them as an empty seat, the luxury for any passenger on a long-haul flight. You can book Aus to NZ for AU$45 or say Aus to US AU$225, which to be fair is pretty reasonable. If the flight is full all monies will be rescinded.

buzz lightyear

The Undertaker is a Thai film from the Isan region which is beating all Hollywood films at the Box office… Thai box office that is, still, a mean feet. I remember teaching at the World Bank in Vietnam and talking ghosts and ghouls was a taboo subject, we chanced it and they loved it, best lesson ever.

way home from pub

Ok lastly, Seoul is promoting their public transport with the ‘ultimate card’, which gives access to the metropolitan’s subways, busses, bike share system and future boat services, all for 65 Won a year, which sounds like a winner to me.


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