Rant n Rave (writings)

‘All clear as mud heading into hi-vis season’ ‘cf’ … It came to him at lunch. A particularly way-out west notion that would no doubt write itself. Spurred earlier in the week by an episode of Murder She Wrote while he settled down for a teatime curry, the revelation now all too clear. A veritable […]

‘On the scale of 1-8 eat’ ‘cf’ … Alakazam, size of an octopus. Oh, fellow compatriots of London bus-waiters, that well known verb to wait for a bus, when Oliver Sudden, oh hang on and aye up, wouldn’t that be rad, a bus, a waiter; ‘tickets please’, ‘half a mild and a Babycham to Aldgate […]

‘sun eating dragons’ ‘cf’ … What in the wide, wide world of, what happened there, happened there? The clocks went back in the northern hemisphere, specifically Blighty, as if they go bonkers anywhere else, and without so much as a by your leave, all went very dark, cold and wintry. Such is the case, but […]

‘Busy doing Nothing’ ‘Being Crossby’ …Sat there in the cold bare house, he contemplated the essence of nothing. It felt good. His hands clasped loosely together resting on his belly. Dirt-dried mitts, caked in decades old wallpaper paste, horse glue he thought. Brr. He noticed how every line was accentuated, lending age beyond reality. He […]

‘I want to be your only pet’ ‘Bombay Bicycle Club’ … It waited there, under the stairs. It knew he would arrive soon to strip the walls. It knew he was a he, but didn’t know if it was an it or a thing. It, we’ll give a capital for the benefit, isn’t concerned. Its […]

‘More beans Mr. Taggart?’ ‘I think you’ve had quite enough Prim’ … In the age of speckled grey where cynical boots fit snug, he pondered through the aisles of choice.  Choice wasn’t his virtue on today’s mission. He had come with purpose. A list, a time frame, a place to be with more to do. […]

‘Fade to Grey’ ‘Fishermen’s Friend’ … meanwhile, grrr, in the got miffed news, I wanted to visit the Fisherman’s Friend factory this week and spread forth their wondrous product. But, by the gnarly knocks of fate this plan fell foul to logistical wranglings, and lo my mission proved forlorn. It didn’t even get off the […]

‘Stanley Livingstone I presume’ ‘Naff off, I’m sleeping’ In the murk, a freshly painted white corner of architrave shone. Folds of ornate whipped cream traversed off the ‘V’ and rolled his way. They then faded and were gone, darkness prevailed. Soon it would be light outside, but he was asleep and he knew it, yet […]

‘Working on the ad hoc off’ ‘Rachmaninoffski’ For the best part of half of Monday, I couldn’t shake that formal jacket with jeans look. So German. The look, not the timing of Monday’s thoughts. Dummkopf. Can’t talk now, got an emergency job in Manchester. Wait there… I’ll be back… said the man who wears that […]

‘New Bins Please’ ‘Umpire Orinoco’ 8 degrees this morning, that’s only two off separation and a couple of socks away from scandals in sandals. I did my 6 degree of separation investigation and found I know Susie, better than you knew Susie, because if you knew Susie, you’d know she likes a scotch egg or […]

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