It Is… Pt16

Written by Prim on 06/05/2023

‘I am a mole and I live in…’
‘perpetual state of being’

Paper paper everywhere and not a drop to eat. Yes, a cluttered desk is a sign of… a sign of… bear with me… if we were in Cannukland it could be a real bear…

Organized mess, a state of being, an aspect of considered thought jumbled in compartments akin only to the most resolute of pioneers tickled with the Avant garde brush of controlled chaos.

Meanwhile, grrr, in Cannuckland; bears on desks, it’s a state of panic.

Argh, here we are; notes on last week’s jollies. Turns out Amazon got me flip-sided with ore and admiration. Other colossal companies are available but these bastards seem to have this planet wrapped up. I may be slow on the uptake, but I’ve been doing a spot of delivery driving with these bastards lately and as bastards go they’re pretty good. Folk order their bastard goods and I deliver them a matter of hours later – that blew my mind. I then blew my nose and wildlife across the land pricked their ears.

A further discovery finds there’s many a Clayton prefix to areas in these here parts (insert Lancashire). There’s Clayton le Woods, Clayton le Dale Clayton le Moor… etc., who is this Clayton? My guess is it’s the lay of the land, i.e. clay and the le bit a Norman dude who came over with William le Conkerhead. For those unfamiliar with British history, I’m talking rhubarb, which grows by the earful.

St Helens is also nice and he’s named after a fiery lady who started rugby league side. They came up in our quiz at the pub the other day, which we won, again, and turns out this St Helen lady-geezer is the current Super League and World Club Champions. After discovering such tantilising news I was sent there the very next day to deliver – weird world huh. Ok, not a lot happens in my life. Tomorrow I might shave.

Right, enough nonsense, here’s some World News… with a collection of mole mounds

France have cast legislation on a policy for returning acquired looted objects on display in their museums to their original countries. That’s quite the chunk. Quite the zig-zag of traffic across the globe. I wonder if they’ll use Amazon. I could be same day delivering to Mauritius… if I lived in Franceland.

moles in the distance caught on close up

Boeing have declared losses of $423m and blamed the supply chain – did they use ol’ Primmy eh – I would’ve got it to them.

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Russia and China have signed their own memorandum on maritime law to protect the Arctic from anyone else making any money. Illegal fishing and smuggling is their beef. But with Putin’s existing infrastructure and China already a self-proclaimed near Arctic State, they are to establish a sort of Polar Silk Road, which, by chance is in a region rich in reserves of hydrocarbon. Polar Silk Road you say… who ya gonna call? Alibaba I suppose or maybe Aliexpress or what’s the Russian one…? Ozon.

The World Bank have loaned Panama $150m to boost energy and internet in remote regions. The funds will help protect the mangrove forests, keep carbon emissions low by helping fund modern energy and with any luck keep the Ruskys and Chinese at bay. What’s the Russian and Chinese for eBay?

Cherry and her shadow in the search for moles

India will have a new water metro by 2035. The roads are shot and full of cows, so 78 new EV boats on 15 routes from Kochi in Keralin will power up in 15mins and carry 100 passengers a pop. That’s all the info we have on that, and that’s all we need.

Chile meantime are using Chinese EV and diesel trains to bolster a 400km route from its capital Santiago to Chillan, a journey cut from 5 to 3hrs 40mins. Next stop to upgrade their coastal routes of 4,300km’s – aye, jobs everywhere. Trains everywhere too, as the Swiss will go one better on being a climate neutral country by stating all their public transport will be electric, i.e. ousting diesel, by 2040. They will also harvest energy from their train’s brakes and put it back into the power grid. Austria are hot on their heels, with Germany declaring they’ll be the same in 2045 and the UK by 2050. Well, that’s me out of a job!

Maserati’s new EV the Grecale Folgore is turning heads. The company will go full EV by 2030. This model can power up from 20 to 80% less than 30mins. A globe of total EV silence in our lifetime is going to be weird. The silence deafening.

And lastly, as the Writers Guild of America (WGA) have gone on strike, shows will soon run out of material. No scriptwriters, no shows, no Netflix and no moles.