Written by Prim on 04/08/2023
‘Ability is of little account without opportunity’
‘Napoleon, no, not the little piggy one, the other one…x’
Purring on the side of what to do now, a-la a Milligan-esque end of skit pondering, ‘what are we going to do now?’ type thing. I sifted through throes of opening gambits capable of dislodging flip-flops across the globe having been knee-jerked free by tantalisingly gripping content, when kaboom, a bolt out of the tinterwebs flash mobbed the screen…
(Insert new paragraph here for no reason) …Thadeus Testa got in touch with me from across the pond. It is a real name, I looked it up. He was, in his words, ‘reaching out’. Now, if you ever hear me using that turn of phrase, please feel obliged to bring you’re A game and drag me through the streets of shame smothered in porridge before throwing me under the bus and at this point in time smear me with equally piously smug phrases of patronizing fad punditry to explain the narrative of feel better-balderdash inscribed into my oat encrusted torso. Meanwhile, grrr, Thadeus was still reaching out from the Financial Hardship Department no less, who by all accounts has been assigned to assist me with hardship assistance. I first realized it was for me by the endearment addressed; Dear Crazy fool… it read, the fool, doesn’t he know I’m all small caps, small c small f, bonehead, plus my synergistically extricated soul has been unpacked from hardship’s ideology since time I didn’t give a flip-flop who gets my coat, where be that from either all of nook’s personal crannys or even uncle Tom’s very own Cobleys. Thereby and with haste forthwith, and not a jot of horse sparing, I declined his pre-approved $37.000 financial support he was so generously offering, nor will I be calling him between 9AM to 6:00 PM Specific Time to take advantage of this exciting opportunity, thank you very much Thadeus.
No Sir-ee, you bet-yer bum dollar I’m not, because today I am affiliating my time to work at home earning between $100-200 a day with a number of hi-brow companies posting on social media, and it isn’t even sales, just number crunching… look out, there’s a Humphrey about!
Now, as 1000’s of folk across the globe embarks on retrieving their excitedly dislodged flip-flops we’ll have some World News that’s equally been grappling our grip hooks…
LVMH are the latest sponsors at Paris 2024 Olympics and Para Olympics. 150m Euros are to be spread across; Paris jewellery house Chaumet who will design the medals. Moet Hennessy who will prop up the hospitality and Berluti will design the uniforms for the opening and closing ceremonies. Even some athletes will be sponsored by the group, such as swimmer Leon Marchant. All the swimmers are in Seine. 150m eh, that’s a fair chunk, but with the world’s eyes on the games, they’re sure to claw it back, though I reckon Moet got the short straw, ‘why, zis eeze not fair, surely. We get everyone peeesed while they stitch everyone up… I sink we ‘ave been stitched up.’ Said a very, very off his cheese spokesperson from Moet – meantime, grrr deaux, If you’d like to advertise here, on Radio Primco, we’ll take every measure not to cheese you off, peas are off or even stitch you up like a kipper, which is a saying we’ll be looking into soon (insert cheese here) – PM us here for all things you!
Talking of cheese, as we did last week, The Swiss are running out. Alpine nibbles such as gruyere and Emmental productions have been in sharp decline since half their dairy farms have disappeared over the past 25 years. Yes, in the land of triangular chunks of nougatty chocolate they now import more cheese than they make. Never mind the, Save our Cheese slogan, it should be a more, Find our Farms shout.
Australia is to buy 20 new American C130 Hercules at $6.6bn ahead of the Talisman Sabre 2023 – rumours implied they are for transporting cheese in the global shortage. Imagine that kind of world, a cheese shortage, cheesageddon, cheese zombies… oh hang on, didn’t Wallace and Grommet cover that… don’t know, don’t care, done with cheese.
Russia and China popped into North Korea for a quick hello this week. The first time the country has opened its borders since that pandemic. The cuddly-countries helped celebrate the 70year Victory Parade for the Korean War. Or as it could be, The 70-year Cheese Roll, given cheese wasn’t a big thing in Korea, unheard of even, till it got smuggled out of the army bases during the war, now there is a penchant for cheese, mostly corn cheese, which is just weird – but that’s enough cheese, we’re done with cheese.
This is cool, literally; Five US cities are signed up for the Smart Surfaces initiative. Atlanta, Boston, Columbia, Dallas and New Orleans, along with 40 national and international organistaions who are all working on keeping cities temperate in the escalating wave of rising heat (tell that to the UK, could someone turn off the tap before going to bed please). Reflective surfaces, green roofs, more use of solar panels and porous pavements allow heat to dissipate and protect from flooding. The project is an on-going quantifying use of technology in the most cost-effective manner. Aye, exactly, what he said.
Prime Matter in Lisbon is a local art and design gallery for local artists and crafts people. French designer Emmanuel Babled opened it after his own name which had everyone gibberishly confused.
However, if you would like to open an oil refinery, you’ll need a few quid. Pakistan’s four largest companies have partnered with Saudi Arabia’s State-owned company Aramco along with $10bn of their dollars to open a refinery in Gwadar Port producing 300,000 barrels a day. The deal was inked in 2019 in Islamabad during The World Mineral Conference – some folk just live in a completely different world… like a brave new world… a world where folk divvy up resources trying to keep everyone happy. Avoiding conflict to provide prosperity… a world where everyone is reliant on one… have you got the minerals to do that?
Getting closer to the world, at least the South American part of it, are Colombia with a new air fleet costing $80m. National airline Satana have bought mostly small and medium sized planes enabling them to land at a bigger choice of airport. Which is nice. I’m not sure why this is here either… it gets to that part in the gig… the ending…
Jonny Ray & the Wasters was Jason’s gig, and he loved it/ them – great tuneage, those who know will hear his distinctive voice – rock on dude and if you get the chance check these cats out – Jonny Ray & the Wasters
Ok, lastly… the French Art outfit Pompidou story will not be recorded, as it’s the last day of the Ashes, and I’m listening and Smith’s just got out and I’m too busy to fill anything else in the rest of this week – take out of that if you will… not even room for Israel’s $100bn – shekel train track proposal or Indonesians turning Singaporean – maybe on the audio version… tune in for more…
Till next time f-f-f-folks… keep ‘em peeled
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