Written by Prim on 28/07/2023
‘Blessed are the Cheesemakers’
‘one of the big nose’s husband’
… Cheese, would you just get your head around it, if you can. Made from milk. A block of solid cheese from liquid. Liquid milk turns to hard, soft, by-crumbly cheese. It’s boggling, bonkers and as hard to fathom as folk who live in the TV.
Some stuff in life is hurled at us like a mind blowing curd-ball. Whey get the process, the science if that’s what magic is, but really, cheese from milk. For years I thought, still inclined to, the wee Michael Bentine’s, Potty Time fellas were bona-fide small-scale sized folk operating behind the screen. Then they started making cheese and I had to leave the room.
During the business of enchanting grass to milk to crackers, ash is traditionally layered over the curds to protect the milk. In Sports Bible, Blessed are the Cheesemakers, The Ashes got cheesed off this week, with enough rain to milk a limp victory. Not a gripe, fair play to Oz, that’s the molten kookiness of cricket (insert David Bowie Kooks). For 8 plus hours those wandering minstrel pundits entertained us on the wireless (how the even… does that work) with regales of floodlights, roof’s, rain, pink balls, white balls all interspersed with podcasts of Steve Smiths Sandpapergate, Glenn McGrath on Warney and the Silver Fox, David Gower’s myriad of adventures which always contained a hearty reference to a bottle of something or other, usually a very good wine or a Bollinger or two. But never once, and me thinks conveniently so, did anyone lay whey to the magic making of cheese.
I can understand scientific proof of 300,000,000 million possible living planets in our universe and ‘beings’ from at least 30 of them very likely already among us, but show them a cheese making process and they’ll soon hide back into the shadows of the forest.
On that secret let’s look at the World News aliens already know…
Ol’ Erdogen’s been on the charm offensive again, with 22.2bn Euros worth of investments from the SandStates. The UAE, Qatar, and Saudi Arabia are into Turkey drones. I stress that should be Turkish made and not the non-flying delights, which incidentally South Americans would label the white hunter lazy due to their ease in catching… where was we, oh yes, someone with a moustache and funny hat said, ‘drones are a big development in the region and we will aid Saudi Arabia’s drone production, which is ultimately the country’s main aim.’ – And fire
In Cambodia’s General election 17 polpotlitical parties are on the ballot, excluding the main Candlelight Party, which has conveniently been barred. Other party’s to be persuaded to run as façade ballast opposition have been leant on by way of a mix of intimidations, press crackdowns and jailing of critics. All conveniently paves the way for Hun Sen and his Cambodia Peoples Party to retain office. News just in; Hun Sen has resigned after 40 years of ruling with an iron fist then an iron boot and his son, His Son, will take over.
A new track from Brussels’ Midi railway Station to Paris’ Gare du Nord is slower than the existing one, by not much, but is one and half hours slower than the High Speed train, three hours faster than a four hour drive and much, much cheaper than all – got that? Good.
In Mexico City pop up dance parties are all the rave. From 1950’s style razzle-me-dazzle retro contemporary, complete with red lighting and waiters adorned in real waistcoats, to the club and dance inspirational scenes care of Diaspora, a pop-up dance company comprising DJ’s with a special dress code announced on social media 24 hours before. A cosmopolitan Latino vibe with staff, clientele and performers from Nigeria, Costa Rica, Colombia, Haiti and the UK – huh! ‘Mexicans love top party 24/7’ says co-partner Brenda Lopez, (great name) with Quentin Ferry (greater name) of Diaspora concluding, ‘there is a market to host a party every week’ – Citrus Wagons, we’re going to Mexico.
Talking of great names… we were… The US is in Tonga checking out its new embassy in the capital Nuku’alofa (told you). Secretary of State Anthony Blinken is on his way to Oz for the Talisman Sabre, where the world is checking out China. As Scott Lucas, a professor in these things noted, ‘China has a presence in 8 of the 12 US affiliated Pacific islands.’ If you can name all 12, please send in on self a combustible postcard while congratulating yourself.
China are in Bolivia too. Of course they are. Well they’ve got all the world’s Lithium, hot for EV’s these days. Chinese Citic Guan Company and Russia’s Uranium One Group have a $1.4bn stake in 2 plants expecting to yield 50,000 tonnes off to whomever needs it. How the environment should fair providing power and water required etc is anyone’s guess. But there’ll be few jobs, should you care to work in mounds of Bolivian white powder all day.
British Music rag NME is coming back after a 5 year hiatus. Riding on the retro call for vinyl and cassettes, limited editions will go on sale every two months. The front will be dedicated to upcoming artists. Here’s one I suggest… given our Turkish-Oz mold theme, Babyface are a Melbourne outfit with Turkish roots who rap in both Arabic and English.
And lastly. .. Rwandair will be up and running by 2026. At a cost, to Qatar who have a 60% stake in the project and 49% shares, of $26bn flying 8m passengers a year. Paul someone or other who knows this stuff said, ‘It is good for consumer choice about where to fly to and from in Africa.’ – Timbuktu… and back again, I’d do anything for you dear…
Till next time f-f-f-folks… keep ‘em peeled
Pip pip, ding-dong and ticketyboo
Keep it turning, keep it wheel – keep it radioprimco
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