It Is… Pt15

Written by Prim on 28/04/2023

‘I wandered as lonely as an air bubble in your pants’
‘Tight Fit’

New, ha, that there corner has been rumbled, cobbled, trodden and in circulation before you could look it up. And that’s coming from an eternal optimist.

Hot air, it’s everywhere and we’re not talking El nino (nino has to have a small n right!)

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Back on the cobbles as quaint looking them maybe, but by-rickety buggery on the spine it is, be it, it is. Really, were streets really left bare to these bric-a-brac ship-shod gap in the tooth surfaces? Did the Romans never smooth their pebbles…nurse!

(Pee break); Toothpaste has an expiry date, no-one knows when, but it does go off.

But back to clanking the cogs in search for this week’s news perk intro. Pure circumstance usually provides the basis of stimulation here. The cobbled cornerstone of our news stories. I say our as an embellishment to suggest there is a team beavering away. Regardless, of team or lone beaver, most stories are primarily powered by a renewable energy source. Hence, the hot air. Could this hot air not be bottled for energy? Could farts be bottled, we’re onto something, aren’t we, surely farts in bottles hasn’t already be done, let’s check… yep, eBay, etsy, you name it, and their offspring are all over it – $50.00 a pop for fresh farts in a jar. There’s even a tik tok lady ‘star’ Stephanie Matto, who made $200k back in ’22 for bottling her arduous odours. Arduous to the point she became so committed to her cause (ching-ching) she committed herself to ER and was diagnosed with severe gas. Your Honour…

Let’s rumble on with our World News…

The international Journalism Festival took place in Perugia this week. Rolling amidst the beautiful green hills and dips of Umbria’s countryside journal folk discussed matters to protect freedom of speech, a reference finger-wagged at, mostly China. How to manage misinformation, aimed largely at orange people and how to nurture the already amongst us, AI and its unnatural chapters. Robot farts, a burny metallic wisp with a slight tinge of silicone. … Like exploding robotic boobies. Not 100% sure why they’re like exploding robotic boobies, but I like it and I’m leaving it there.

Did I know Gif Gaf sell phones? Yes of course I did, they remind me 16 and half times a day

Chile’s el presidente nationalized their lithium industry this week. Yep, EV’s all over the globe need that energizing source for their batteries. Concerns from the private sector over US investment could evaporate as did so in the 70’s with the copper mines. Chile seeks to strengthen ties with Asia-Pacific and Africa, while its relationship with the US evolves naturally. Seems they could be in good stead as EV sales this year are expected to be 1 in 5 of all new cars sold globally, that’s up triple and rising since 2020. That’s not including bikes, of which my friends Vespa parts we’ll be looking at in May. Parts for Vespa’s that is.

South Korea is the hot tub of fashion these days. They are the biggest spenders on luxury couture with $16.8bn in the banks of brands such as Tiffany & Co, Christian Dior and Louis Vuitton. Sales are readily attributed to K-Pop robots who are ambassadors for many a luxury good. The Gov. have also got in the act with the tourism sector and together come up with a catchy phrase to visit South Korea, it’s called Visit South Korea 2023-24.

Having said that LVMH the French conglomerate of 75 luxury brands have become the first European company with a market value of over $500bn – aye, so put that in your snap, crackle and K-Pops and smoke it. Hmmm, smells like burny silicone exploding boobies.

Sweden to Denmark and vice versa will soon get quicker, thanks to a new metro line between Copenhagen and Malmo. The tunnel under the Oresund Strait will make the journey under 20 mins. Currently 30,000 train passengers a day make the journey over the Oresund Bridge. It’s not sure when it will be finished but guestimated to cost 30bn Danish krone… now I’m confused, are they in Europe? There is also a tunnel to Germany to be completed in 2029. I got the boat from Kiel in Germany to Denmark back in 19 O’Chocolate and lost my Magnum hat on the gangway, if anyone sees it I’d appreciate it. Thanks.

cherry hiding…
…on the bridge

Oz are to beef up their defence. More strike missiles and domestic munitions capabilities are the go. There was a time isolation and US protection served well, but China are consistently making waves in the Indo-Pacific with an ever increasing military presence, so urgency is on the menu. So is kangaroo, maybe that’s why everyone’s so jumpy.

I should really stop here…