‘It Is… Pt.56

word tunes n dreams

… Ok, new format due – back to ‘It Is… ‘ and radio show – this Tales from the Hip little baby is garnering legs – big hairy ones, so full novel it is, available by subscription only – anything from $8 to 50 – to infinite dollars a year, your choice, I will send you the story weekly as well as the back drop in both text and audio, compiled in chapters, pages or whatever format preferrable – ok, serious bollocks over – let’s go to page 9 and see what these crazy cats have been up to now…

Tales from the Hip

… They left the fun ground that wasn’t. ‘Let’s go for a surf’. Dan’s revved. And in the jeep, they hop, heading Northbound, back towards Puerto Vallarta, Good mood on.

‘To the ocean’. Megan yells. There’s even a soft absorbing presence about her yell, like a mouse peeping through the curtain. Jax schemes a Mia Farrow-esqueness about her, with that strong jaw offering a petit face nibbling innocent attention, ‘Bye bye and aurevoir iguana. We need waves.’ The little mouse peeps. She exuded hotness.

‘Blimey, never mind Burton and Gardner, I’m with Chevvy Chase and Mia Farrow.’ They look at Jax smiling, but don’t bother to question, no need, they’d heard it before, they were more interested in his accent.

‘Go on, say it again,’ Dan insists, ‘Blimey’, he exaggerates a twisted face digging into Jerry Lewis mode, ‘say blimey again’, Jax obliges and they fall about laughing. ‘Superb. You’re ours now Jax, you know that, we’ve officially kidnapped you, forever, ok?’

‘Righty ho’ Jax innocently acknowledges, and they fall about once more.

‘Ha, righty ho’, Dan’s bouncing up and down in his seat, barely able to hold onto the wheel as the jeep jolts side to side, ‘righty ho. I love this guy’

He sniffs out a route hugging the shore. ‘There’s always a coast road’, he insists, and in minutes the familiar infinite roar of the Pacific pops into view between sand dunes and sporadic palms. A track of pure sand unveils itself and leads down to the sea, beckoning them to the edge of the world. Jax conjures Conquistadors in full armour dismounting their wooden dinghy’s, bent on gold, pillage and springs offering eternal youth. Yet now in this intoxicating expanse of ocean the swell clawing at the dune’s spikey tufts, Mother Nature lay naked and vulnerable and dangerous.

‘Just look at that’ Dan for once is serious, encapsulated in awe. ‘ain’t nobody and nothing here except the water, sand and maybe a couple of dinosaurs. God’s forgotten land. C’mon, let’s go test the surf,’ and he’s running. Jax and Megan follow as they smash into the white froth. Jax knows those tiny little knots of her bikini drawers aren’t going to cope with these poundings.

‘Whoa’, Dan’s already riding, cruising the crest, arms held out in front like Superman. He washes 15metres up on the damp browned sand.

‘Man, man, these waves are fierce, did you see how high on the beach I just landed’

He was hard to hear, what with the distance he had indeed travelled and the surging six wave motion of the next big one behind, like the tide and time waiting for no man, Jax waited. Megan bobbed up and down in slushing rhythm, biding her time, while Jax dove straight into the monster’s pit, emerging the other side relieved and pumped. He catches a ride first time and is flying in the rage, swept up as far as Dan. Meg’s also smashes up on the soft damping, and lies there on her stomach laughing, clumping fists full of clammy sand, feeling the soft warm wave’s residue retreat around her body, ready for another go.

‘Un-fucking-believable man’ Dan is yelling, back in the deep, whooping, surfing, coughing and spluttering. Waves smash each one of them forwards, sideways and dumpers send them straight to the bottom, smacking them onto the soft bed amidst echoing thuds. It swirls them around Mother’s washing machine, suck their last breath and spit them out like cherry pips. Jax takes a big hit and lands on the back of his head and neck, it flips him like a rag doll and drags him uncontrollably by the ankles, swinging him around and round, bouncing him the bottom a second time, he’s blinded in the turbulent silt of bubbles and death. Orientation a lottery, what is up or down, deep or shallow, all amess, a desperation. His lungs burning, surely this was it, to be dragged out to sea, into the deeps selfless lair and left to rot for teeth and decay. Helplessly his arms flay and instantly the swirl throws him up and kicks him out into a cauldron of white froth and foam. In a complete state of uncertain whereabouts, he gasps at the wet air and spits fear. A dreaded cast imprinted forever like a tattoo on his face sets in stone. No time for the realisation of salvation, but trapped in that immortal seconds of death. And just as quick, a mild relaxation allows blood to fill his cheeks, ’Jesus’ he murmurs and coughs brine and itty chunks of vomit.

He was done and walked up the beach to sit with Megs who was already dry and rolling a joint. Dan appears moments later,’


‘No shit,’ Jax confirms, ‘I swear, I nearly died there,’

‘I know, ace isn’t it.’

‘Ace yeah. Now, in the immortal words of Jaws, can we go home now.’

till page/pt 10 folks…

He sat at the screen and pondered…

 … while they’re down the tube, let’s go to the World News

true dat

The world’s largest food and farming show is in Paris week this. Le ’24 Salon d’Agriculture gig is staged among seven humongous halls of the Expo Porto de Versailles which are turned into fields, much like the manure left by farmers on Government buildings in Toulouse recently over rising taxes and farming costs. Here, they will hold seminars, machinery, livestock and competitions. What’s that old saying about don’t do it on your own doorstep, well that Macron is a brave lad eh.

sheep dere

The Cobra Gold military exercises of the Indo-Pacific are into their 43rd edition this week. Primarily sponsored by Thailand but with a huge chunk from the US, 30 nations in total take part. As part of the games this year, the US and Thai teams plan to salvage a US made Corvette sunk in 2022 – just what is a car doing all the way out there!

and up dere

HCMC having cut down heaps of beautiful trees to make way for their first metro line, due to open any minute now, after ten years in the making, have now signed off deals for a second line. If you’d like to chain yourself to a tree, now’s the time. Visit Vietnam too. Win win

Sweden is now officially NATO’s 32nd member. Turkey and Hungary finally relented when the world didn’t take any notice of their offers to mediate the Russia and Ukraine quarrels from Turkey and Hungary banned gays to impress Russia. Now the Baltic is flanked by NATO and the world doesn’t care what Turkey and Hungary get up to. It’s hard trying to stay on the world’s stage.

Back in Paris, and their Olympic Village will hold 14,500 athletes this summer. When it’s done, this purpose-built village on the northern outskirts of the capital will be transformed into housing for 6000 people along with offices and education facilities. All the people will be electric too.

The Commercial Aircraft Corporation of China (COMAC) makes planes and recently they’ve been test flying their C919 over Sout East Asia. It’s their first single aisle passenger jet and possible competition for the Airbus 320 and Boeing 737, though not to be regulated by US or EU just yet. However, the $49bn investment is largely from China but the parts are foreign bought, so it’s only a matter of time.

Tha tha that’s all folks

Keep it turning keep it wheel, keep it radioPrimco.com

Till next weak folks – spelling correct.

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