‘New Bins Please’
‘Umpire Orinoco’

audio/pod/short radio with extra tuneage n stuff version should you be brave enough

8 degrees this morning, that’s only two off separation and a couple of socks away from scandals in sandals.

I did my 6 degree of separation investigation and found I know Susie, better than you knew Susie, because if you knew Susie, you’d know she likes a scotch egg or two – oh, oh what a girl.

Aye, 32 one day then toes curling the next. Feet don’t know if they’re coming or going. Yet, still they lay bare to all and weatherly, holding back our planet’s strident efforts to coerce us into the flippancy of change, well I can tell you… right, that’s it. If I hear the wheels on the fricking bus and wind that bastard bobbing in while attached to the head shoulders knees and up your boomsie-daisy once more I’m going to go mental. Who let’s nursery classes in the public library on the only hour I have to kill anyway, and would someone… 2,3,4,5 let the live frisking fish go… and away… thank you Bob.

…right, where were we, oh crikey, the man behind me needs assistance on computer 3 and the librarian has a voice of thunder… where’s the Sssh button…

here we go loopy-loo, actually like this one… no idea where we’re at, but we’ll go with it; I’ve got two new pairs of glasses and the horizon’s no clearer. Aye two pairs, two pairs… she’ll be coming round the mountain when she… two pairs… singing aye aye yippee-yippee aye… Great for reading two feet away, but what if I’d like to recline. Why are they called bins? Because they resemble dustbin lids maybe, I don’t know… down came the rain and messed up all my thoughts… but we seem to be heading into ‘2’ country, what with all that 2 degrees of separation, two new bins and this week I listened to the very likelihood of life on the exquisitely named planet K2 18b, which is an exoplanet orbiting Red dwarf K2 18 – exo suggesting it’s out of our solar system. Life lends its lure to the fact it harbours carbon bearing molecules. Means nothing to me either, but then neither did Vienna. But no fear, because its 124light years away so we won’t be going there anytime soon. Not even Tulsa, and that’s only 24 hours away. Meantime, grrr, Google told me I went to 25 cities and 47 places in August – 2, to, too, two it’s everywhere man, north, south, east and west man… toodle-oodle-doo do…

I also found out this week, pigs are prone to deceptive behaviour, which means they can be a little sneaky when they want to… irrelevant but a thought just as much.

Hark, thy nursery rhythmic chants hath stopped, quick, let’s go to World News while we can…

true dat

Tokyo tech firm Daybreak have sped up the freezing process in food to, wait for it; super quick. Super quick means all our yummy foods, such as shepherd’s pies, sarnies, soups and sauerkraut keep their flavour, texture, colour and above all umami, aye, who’s the mummy now. ‘In conventional water freezing, the water inside the food cells turns into ice and the cells membranes are damaged as a result of the crystals.’ Says Momoko Imura. And she should know, she’s Japanese. That’s why some folk find frozen mash a bit funny. Mind you, there’s a company in the UK called Cook who’ve been freezing every conceivable food at -35 for years and by-yummery it’s the best. So, Japan and your Artlock specialist cooler, available to all shops, caterers and foodie retail outlets, what’s new… except you’re making it available for all shops, caterers and foodie retail outlets… damn… pass a scotch egg… cheers Susie.

prim stirry stuff – unfrozen

This is cool; Rhode Island geezers Billy Thalheimer and Michael Klinker have made an electric plane. Regent is the company behind the electric sea-gliding 12-seater called the Viceroy, effectively an airbourne ferry. Perfect for island hopping. ‘with the Viceroy, there’s no oiling and you don’t need to take the engine apart’ says Michael. Hawaii are interested which will put Magnum’s mate TC out of business. Brittany Ferries are also interested to use across the English Channel. Surely you cannot get much more across the English Channel. It’s already the busiest Channel in the world, bust with trains, ferries, hovercrafts, swimmers, planes, perfume and migrants, no wonder there’s no cod left, there’s no more room.

dry crossing – soon the river will come

Ok, in short: Greece and Turkey are to be friends while they share energy exploration rights in the Aegean Sea – aye aye yippee-yippee aye – the Gabon became the 8th country in West and Central oil rich region of Africa to stage a Military takeover since 2020. The ousted 14 year rule of the brilliantly named Ali Bongo followed a four decade stint from his dad, Omar, short for Um who used to like a drink, in the Congo –um bongo, um bongo, they drink it in the Congo – Mexico will have a female president by 2024. Claudia Sheinbaum (Mexican?) and Xochitl Galvez (deffo Mexican) are the runners – she’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes – And Armenia, who you might think would turn to Russia, have in fact gone West. They are to hold war games with the US, snubbing previous bouts with the Moscow Led Collective Security Treaty Organisation. There’s no cure for that. There’s no heavy weapons in these games, just 85 US troops and 175 Armenians, but it is a two finger salute to Russia.

my name is Primal Scream

Ok, Peru are in a lemon shortage. Prices have risen quintuple and it’s causing a fracas, especially when their national dish ceviche consists of lemons (and tequila and cocaine). The lack is due to Cyclo Yaku and El Nino and global heating. They’re now having to rely on contraband lemons from Colombia, which is really messing with the cartels lemons, who are having to use their lemons, because when life doesn’t give you lemons you have to use your lemon… now you’re talking so hip, you’re twisting mine…

On that note, here’s another… – ta ta

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Pip pip, ding-dong and ticketyboo
Keep it turning, keep it wheel – keep it radioprimco


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