Cricketers Arms
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‘I want to be your only pet’ ‘Bombay Bicycle Club’ … It waited there, under the stairs. It knew he would arrive soon to strip the walls. It knew he was a he, but didn’t know if it was an it or a thing. It, we’ll give a capital for the benefit, isn’t concerned. Its […]
‘More beans Mr. Taggart?’ ‘I think you’ve had quite enough Prim’ … In the age of speckled grey where cynical boots fit snug, he pondered through the aisles of choice. Choice wasn’t his virtue on today’s mission. He had come with purpose. A list, a time frame, a place to be with more to do. […]
‘Fade to Grey’ ‘Fishermen’s Friend’ … meanwhile, grrr, in the got miffed news, I wanted to visit the Fisherman’s Friend factory this week and spread forth their wondrous product. But, by the gnarly knocks of fate this plan fell foul to logistical wranglings, and lo my mission proved forlorn. It didn’t even get off the […]
‘Stanley Livingstone I presume’ ‘Naff off, I’m sleeping’ In the murk, a freshly painted white corner of architrave shone. Folds of ornate whipped cream traversed off the ‘V’ and rolled his way. They then faded and were gone, darkness prevailed. Soon it would be light outside, but he was asleep and he knew it, yet […]
‘Working on the ad hoc off’ ‘Rachmaninoffski’ For the best part of half of Monday, I couldn’t shake that formal jacket with jeans look. So German. The look, not the timing of Monday’s thoughts. Dummkopf. Can’t talk now, got an emergency job in Manchester. Wait there… I’ll be back… said the man who wears that […]
‘New Bins Please’ ‘Umpire Orinoco’ 8 degrees this morning, that’s only two off separation and a couple of socks away from scandals in sandals. I did my 6 degree of separation investigation and found I know Susie, better than you knew Susie, because if you knew Susie, you’d know she likes a scotch egg or […]
‘This wood is not for turning’ ‘Maggie not Colin’ Has anyone got any change for the jukebox. By crumbly, if I had a banana for every time someone asked me that, I’d have a lovely bunch of coconuts by June. Aye thank you Basil Rathbone. Meantime, grrr, on a random fold of crispy lettuce, let’s […]
‘I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy; we fought ourselves. And the enemy was in us.’‘Platonic Podcast Painters’ …through the shadows he shifted, cradled with urgency. Stealth and sharply accurate on a terrain less-trodden. Brushing pass the broad-leaved trees and skimming through the drooping fanned spears that popped from the murk […]
‘Ability is of little account without opportunity’‘Napoleon, no, not the little piggy one, the other one…x’ Purring on the side of what to do now, a-la a Milligan-esque end of skit pondering, ‘what are we going to do now?’ type thing. I sifted through throes of opening gambits capable of dislodging flip-flops across the globe […]
‘Blessed are the Cheesemakers’‘one of the big nose’s husband’ … Cheese, would you just get your head around it, if you can. Made from milk. A block of solid cheese from liquid. Liquid milk turns to hard, soft, by-crumbly cheese. It’s boggling, bonkers and as hard to fathom as folk who live in the TV. […]
