But it’s gonna be… Adventure

 ‘Get off your horse and drink your milk’
Never said by Marion Morrison

Strap in

Weather is important, I know I said I’d never mention it again, but I can’t help it… Dog food – biscuits… marge… yoghurts, am I dreaming or did I just write that… fold the corners and tuck…

Bear with me while I consult my notes… glancing out the window on this fine rainy morning a lone figure waits patiently at a bus stop. Her first day at a new school, a new country and her first time ever on a bus. The excitement in life doesn’t get any bigger. The bus didn’t come.

Jump in the car and speed the kid to school when just then, the bus turns up. Brake, throw the kid on the bus. She’s the only person on the bus. She has to drive the bus, wow, what a first day.

we celebrate in the pub

The previous day we sent daughter No.1 off to Uni. A mere 40 minutes down the road. we did it in 1hour ten minutes courtesy of the co drivers knowing the way. Care ye not, the sun was smiling, flip-flops donned, the mood buoyant… ‘She’s finally going after 18 years… ha ha ha’ (delirious Inspector Dreyfus laugh).

On the previous previous day the sun provoked happiness with its loose inhibitions. At a moment’s notice, and what a moment, by-crumpledork the gates posts are ravished, on this moment, Postie Prim and his black and white dog were sent to the middle of bumfuck nowhere, like the SAS of the Postie world they set to, after a quick cup of tea. The average living age; 122, time stood still, and so did the residents. Riding around this half-horse town our car door fell off, clank. Somewhere a flat cap turned. The sun continued to beat, ooh, dat da rhythm man. We stopped for a flask of tea to contain the excitement.

On route to this land of plenty the sun continued to purge the back-end of summer’s flesh, and most of the back ends of Preston too… when did leggings become universally acceptable! If it isn’t all bums and bulges then all is covered in a black bed sheet, well it is in Preston, no offence to either fashion, but it’s true.

The favoured normal casual cloth is either black or grey, and that’s in the height of summer. Winter is coming, and soon any signs of colour will disappear into a dark bleak abyss of purgatory. Flesh and colour folks I say, we need flesh and colour… and oomph

(Cherry, holds the car door closed with her tail: ‘I’m black and white’)

PRIM: The onset of change is upon, we’re entering darkness my friend, colour and oomph is what is needed… and flesh when purgatory isn’t looking.

(Soft agreeing growl)

CHERRY Let’s go eat someone

On the road to this epiphany an ambulance flashed its lights, blew its siren and hurtled at break neck speed towards us. We waited for the jumbulance to pass. I catch the driver’s eye, she’s gorgeous, blonde, tanned, a Love Island copy, I mean drop dead gorgeous, young men are throwing themselves in her path. What makes a young model-looking beauty in the prime of youth say to herself, ‘I think I’ll become a first receiver!’

here’s as good a place as any for a tune

Back at the bus stop it stopped raining. Gad, it’s hot. The internet’s gone wonky and I have to talk to the help desk in South Africa to confirm I have switched it on and off. She (Mary) wishes me and my family well and lends us God’s blessing. Mary is courteous beyond helpful. An engineer in Blighty will have to look. It’s hot in South Africa but still winter. I call Mary back and ask if I can keep the blessing.

I have to go back to the shops to get full fat cream for the chook korma. The adventures never stop. The korma turns out splendid, even if I forgot to add the cream… ‘tea nurse, more tea, damn your eyes’.

Finally told folk Durban’s Bread is available on Amazon, via its own post. Amazon receives most of the kind but I get all the accolade, which sounds like an aid to alcohol if you slur.

In other news; i went shopping in Rome where toenail scissors range from 4.70 to 23 pounds. I was better off buying garden shears.

Thwow him to the floor and cut his toenails

Meanwhile at the Cricks; we upped our ratings at the quiz, coming 3rd (from bottom). April Moon entertained us with some cracking tunes and the dude (April or Moon, I’m not sure) recognized my Barry Wom T-shirt, which was nice. And Sunday’s adhoc music quiz delivered a beautiful display of pubbery nonsense.

Camera pans to a flat cap lying in the curb, a dusting of black and white fur bristles the rim, a sprawling empty road in each direction. Somewhere the sound of a dog licking its lips slaps.

Cherry rests easy after a flatcap feed

Till next time… keep ‘em peeled

Pip pip, ding-dong and ticketyboo

Keep the world turning, keep it wheel


It’s Time – But It’s Gonna Be… is brought to us by Durban’s Bread

Also with our good chums Chow Pet Foods

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